so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
