Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
