I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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