can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
