I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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