I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
