Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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