ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
