Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize