I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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