actually, I'm a sock model
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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