You were right. It hurts to walk today.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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