boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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