as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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