I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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