Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
