i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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