hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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