I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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