He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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