I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
