so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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