i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
