Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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