i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm both gender and math confused
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
