I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
