I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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