Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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