I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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