it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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