yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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