I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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