The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
