Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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