YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
