Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
