don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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