Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are we still banned from the library?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
