i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
