She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize
