and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
