she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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