Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
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