My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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