the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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