I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
