She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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