even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
