Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
