If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
