Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize