Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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