I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
