period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
