i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize