Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
