dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
