Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
