its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
