girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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