he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
