i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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