I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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