oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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