discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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