i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
